Friday, November 30, 2007
Untitled
When People Love You A Little Less
Brr such a cold day it was!
When Chaos ruins the land
And heartbeat stricken poses
A threat not new to man.
-Summer Noon
I confess taking things in a non-troubled way. My heart whispers to me words of tranquil
and peace. Soaring angels are with you. My prayers always will. There is nothing
I should fear.
Yet still dumbfounded of where you were. Of things going inside your head. Can I take a
peek, my lord? The vicious part of my cunning heart asks, "Aren't you frightened? Of others
to take away his soul?". I do not wish to think. Indeed, I do not wish to think of you
not beside me.
But somehow, today is much colder than what others feel. My love, there is winter inside
me. See how dreadful my soul is! See how my voice trembles in every word I speak!
I am sorry from the depths of my soul. I lied to you when I said I didn't notice how you
were yearning for someone. Of course I knew. I know every single thing.
I was just trying to lighten things a bit. To send you some laughs. Some fragments of my
smiles. Not very much comforting. But I tell you they are as genuine as the Sun. I
wanted to lift your mind from afar. To see some light in the darkness.
Yet I was wrong. I should have come to you with all the chaos around. I should not have
wanted to bring you light but join you in the pitch black world. I should have shared with
you tears and confusion.
Disappointment, failure and madness. These I promise not to let you feel.
Let me banish limitations. Let me conquer your fears.
I beg you not to love me a bit little less.
In pure light, some things are left unseen.
Ney, my heart aches. I don't want to feel this way but I just can't.
I'm so useless. Can't even be a good girlfriend.
posted
by Hana Ga-Eul 1:14 AM
Friday, November 16, 2007
From Scratch to Craft
I've always been fascinated on how things on papers, such as sketches or doodles turn into something more visual and tangible.
Maybe that's why I took up Interior Design.
I remember, when I was about three or four, I used to make drawings of sectional elevations of homes. There was always a door on the center, a living area on the left with bulky period style pieces of furniture plus a fireplace in pseudo-perspective. On the right is the dining area with the kitchen beside it; adjacent is a small door with "CR" labeled on it. On the second floor were three bedrooms. The master bedroom with a queen size bed with swags and valances, a kid's bedroom which was usually pink or blue (depending if my family has a daughter or a son) and a small room that serves as a guest room. Sometimes it would be four rooms - the fourth, as a bathroom with a bath tub and a shower -and shower curtain. (I never lived in a home with a tub.) If you're wondering how to get upstairs, well you can always use the elevator. Yeap, you read it right. There are no stairs going up the second floor. You use the ELEVATOR. It was amazing I thought back then. It was maybe an influence from my mom's office. I can't recall what floor was it but you use the elevator to get up the building.
I had so many dreams when I grow up. Children would start saying...
I want to be a ______________ when I grow up.
I had so many answers for that blank.
A cashier for a supermarket. (I thought the money you pay is for them to keep for themselves heheh.)
A marine biologist. (I'm Piscean. I have an inclination to any thing aquatic. Except shokoys.)
A nurse. (I have two aunts who works as nurses.)
A doctor. (I don't want to be an assistant. I want to be the boss. *grins*)
A scientist. (My gradeschool teacher made me believe I was good in Science.)
A fashion designer. (If I can't be the fashion model, I might as well be the designer.)
A painter. (But movies say you don't really earn much. Plus I never really won any art contest.)
An accountant. (I think more of as a bank teller. They work M-F, until 3pm. You see what I mean?)
A teacher. (I wanted to be a gradeschool teacher but then again, NOT.)
An architect. (I love drawing. But I find architecture too technical. Later I learned Structural Engineers do all the work to put up the structure hehehe.)
An IT person. (Computers? I can't live without one. Love you momo and laftaf!)
An interior designer.
An finally I am one.
Complete with a four year course- Bachelor of Science in Interior Design and a license
to practice this profession.
What's the problem now?
Through my college years, I found myself passionately making designs for retail / commercial projects. Prints and other design collaterals aside from interiors. The advertising field caught my attention. I wanted to make a commercial for Coca Cola. (*This dream is another story - another entry.) My first visual merchandising design was when I was eight when I designed a department store in my little notebook. ^_^
This is what I want now.
Interior Design > Visual Merchandising > Advertising > ART DIRECTOR
Who knows what's next?
I know I dream a lot. But all of these, with what I am now, started only as dreams. I am moving forward. I do not wish to take a leap. I want to take little but sure steps.
Do I feel that ecstatic vibe to fulfill what I want?
Yes.
Only, I'm still considering my options now. Taking things slowly, working my way blindfolded into the real world as what successful people had gone through their lives.
I'm lucky to have all the love and support. My family. My Hunney. My Friends. And more than anyone else, God.
Perk up and Rock n Roll. Good luck to me. Good luck to all those who dreams -even daydreams.
Hmm, don't get me wrong. I still am amazed on how elevators work.
posted
by Hana Ga-Eul 1:40 AM